i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
