Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
So vagazzling was a success
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