Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
bring money and cleavage
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
