dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
