haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
