I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
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Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
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I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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