Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
