wanna go halves on a baby?
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
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