Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
