so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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