I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
