Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize