we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
