i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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