She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
