Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
