How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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