Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize