just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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