How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
