And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
