you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
