i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
