The brown eye won't let me do that either.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
