Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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