do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
last night I used snow as a chaser
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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