Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
