I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
