Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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