i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
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