I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
