Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
