im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You did what with his pubic hair?
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