So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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