By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
The beers last night were like the tears from god
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
