im having a threesome with these popsicles
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
