I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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