It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
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