I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
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Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
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The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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