Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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