Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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