FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
