Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
