Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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