Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize