so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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