i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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