you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
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