i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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