super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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