so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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