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• (330): View more from Ohio

  no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.

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• (712): View more from Iowa

  My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (701): View more from North Dakota

  She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"

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• (407): View more from Florida

  I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.

  (646): View more from New York

  LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES

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• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (601): View more from Mississippi

  Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD

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• (818): View more from California

  Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket

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