About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Dating After Heartbreak
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!