I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.