Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Randomize
