my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize