omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
