She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
