Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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