Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
