Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
