I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
